List of Swinger Terms

• Swinger – A person (typically a couple) who practices consensual non-monogamy by engaging in the swapping of sexual partners and/or group sex.

• • Swingers are typically couples but can also be individuals (see Unicorn and Bull)

• Swinging – The act of a type of consensual non-monogamy where a person engages in sexual activity with people, other than their partner, in the presence of, or with the permission of their partner.

• Lifestyle aka The Lifestyle or LS – The term used for swinging and the swinging community. In the swinging community, you will more often hear people refer to themselves as “in the Lifestyle” instead of a “swinger.”

• Play – Sexual intercourse in the Lifestyle. This does not always include penetrative intercourse.

• Upside Down Pineapple – The universal symbol used for swingers and swinging. In modern times, it acts as a mascot or logo for the swinging Lifestyle.

  • It is widely assumed by the general public that swingers find other swingers by putting a pineapple in their shopping cart upside down or putting an upside down pineapple on your porch like a jack-o-lantern, indicating you are looking for other swingers or that you are welcoming swingers into your home for sex.

  • While that may have been true in the past, in modern times, it is not how swingers find each other any more, but historically, that is where the upside down pineapple relation came from.

  • Swingers have now adopted that and often collect and wear many things with pineapples on them to proudly but also somewhat secretly show their swinger pride! It’s similar to wearing or having items including a favorite sports team logo – to signal to other like-minded people that you have something in common!

• Unicorn – A single female who participates in the Lifestyle.

  • They often will join a couple and play together with them in a threesome or play with a member of the swinging couple separately, all depending on everyone’s rules/boundaries, or may be asked to be part of other forms of group play.

  • They have the name unicorn as they seem mythical – majestic and hard to find.

• Bull – A single male who participates in the Lifestyle.

  • They often will join a couple for hotwifing, cuckolding, and threesomes, or may be asked to part of gangbangs and other forms of group play.

• Dragon – A bi-sexual single male who participates in a the Lifestyle by joining and playing with a bi-sexual couple.
• The have the name dragon as they, like unicorns, seem mythical and hard to find.

• Soft Swap – Sexual intercourse with (at least) two couples where the couples will swap partners and participate in oral sex with someone other than their partner

  • Soft swap couples do not participate in penetrative intercourse with anyone other than their own partner.

• Full Swap – Sexual intercourse with (at least) two couples where the couples will swap partners and participate in penetrative vaginal intercourse with someone other than their partner.

• Vanilla – Non-swingers or not swinging or kink related. Can refer to people, events or activities. It is not used as an insult.

Additional Swinger Terms / Full Swinger Dictionary / Swinger Glossary

• Airtight – Simultaneous anal, vaginal, and oral intercourse.
• Bareback – Penetrative sexual intercourse without a condom. This is not often practiced within the Lifestyle and if so is talked about beforehand with the participating parties.
• BDSM – A compound acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism

  • A general term referring to a wide variety of kink practices which can include restraints (ex: ropes, cuffs), spanking, pain play, breath play, dominance/submissive roles, and more.

  • There can sometimes be crossover between BDSM and swinging, but are ultimately two completely different kinks and communities.

• Bi-Comfortable – Those who enjoy sex with the opposite gender and feels comfortable with some sexual activity with others of their same gender but may not prefer it.
• Bi-Curious – Those who enjoy sex with the opposite gender and are also interested in exploring sex with others of the same gender.
• Bi-Receptive – Being comfortable letting others of the same gender perform sexual activities on/with them, but are not comfortable reciprocating for the same gender.
• Bi-Sexual – Sexual attraction to their same gender as well as their opposite gender.
• Bi-Situational – Someone who may not always choose/prefer to have sex with both their opposite and same gender, but does sometimes enjoy sex with members with the same gender “under the right circumstances” or in the right situation.”
• Bondage – A fetish which includes the tying, binding, or restraining of a person for the sexual, aesthetic, and/or psychological pleasure of the parties involved.
• Boner Pills (or Erection Enhancers or Swinger’s Insurance) – A playful term that refers to any one of a number of medications or natural supplements to improve erectile function in men.

  • Viagra, Cialis (Blue Chew is very popular), Levitra, or their generic substitutes are the most common medications used.

• Bull – A single male who participates in the Lifestyle.

  • They often will join a couple for hotwifing, cuckolding, and threesomes, or may be asked to part of gangbangs and other forms of group play.

• Clean – Free of sexually transmitted diseases/infections in addition to being hygienically clean.
• Compersion – Often referred to as the opposite of jealousy, it is the feeling of happiness, joy, pleasure, or arousal created by seeing your partner experience happiness, joy, pleasure, or arousal.
• Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) – An umbrella term for relationships in which all partners give explicit consent to engage in romantic, intimate, and/or sexual relationships with people outside of their core relationship.

  • Most swingers practice emotional monogamy and sexual non-monogamy.

• Consent – A clear affirmative agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity or sexual advancement. Consent includes requesting to touch, touch further, or generally initiate any sexual or intimate activity, followed by a verbal “yes.” Consent is NEVER implied.
• Cuckold (Cuckolding, Cucking. See also Hotwifing) – A fetish or kink most often referring to a man who receives sexual pleasure from seeing his partner receive sexual pleasure from someone other than him. Typically, the cuck is the submissive and his partner is the dominant.

  • Often, cuckolding involves the observing partner (known as the cuckold – who doesn’t typically participate) being present in the room while they watch, but they could also observe by being sent messages or photos of what is happening.

  • Cucking is variant of masochism, where the cuckold derives pleasure from being humiliated. Typically, the person whom the cuckold’s partner is engaging in sexual activity with will have more dominant traits than the cuck (larger penis, larger stature, etc).

  • Cucking is different than Hotwifing and is not seen much in the Lifestyle compared to Hotwifing.

• D&D Free, DD Free, DDF – An abbreviation for “Drug and Disease Free” usually found in swingers profiles on swingers dating websites and apps. This means that the individual is free of sexually transmitted diseases and is not a drug user.
• Dominant – (opposite of submissive) The person who plays a more authoritative role in a relationship.

  • During sex, it is the person who likes to take control, holds more power, and calls the shots.

  • This term is more often used in the BDSM community but can play a part in swinging as well.

• DP (Double Penetration) – Simultaneous anal and vaginal intercourse.
• DVP (Double Vaginal Penetration) – The act of the vagina being penetrated with two things as once, such as two penises, two dildos, or one of each. Not commonly practiced in the Lifestyle.
• DAP (Double Anal Penetration) – The act of the anus being penetrated with two things as once, such as two penises, two dildos, or one of each. Not commonly practiced in the Lifestyle.
• Entertain – (see also Host) – To provide one’s home or voluntarily getting a location (such as a hotel room or Air BnB) for meeting and/or sexual activities.
• Exhibitionism (or Exhibitionist. see also Voyeurism) – A sexual kink in which the person feels sexual arousal or pleasure at the idea or reality of being seen naked or being engaged in sexual activities while others can see or watch.
• FMF – A sexual threesome including 2 females and 1 male. In some cases, this acronym indicates that the women will not play with one another (as opposed to an FFM), but that use is not universal.
• FFM – A sexual threesome that includes 2 females and 1 male. In some cases, this acronym indicates that the women will play with one another as well as with the man (as opposed to an FMF), but that use is not universal.
• Full Swap – Sexual intercourse with (at least) two couples where the couples will swap partners and participate in penetrative vaginal intercourse with someone other than their partner.
• Gang Bang – Group sex with one member of one gender and multiple members of the other. Most often, a gang bang involves one woman with multiple men.
• Hall Pass – Permission for a partner to have sex with another person without the presence of his/her partner.
• Host – (see also Entertain) – To provide one’s home or voluntarily getting a location (such as a hotel room or Air BnB) for meeting and/or sexual activities. Can also refer to the individual who is doing the entertaining.
• Hot Wife (or Hotwife) – A married woman who has sex with men other than her husband.
• Hotwifing – The act of a married woman having sex with a man other than her husband. Her husband can be present to watch, may participate (most often in an MFM threesome), or in some cases, she may go out on play dates on her own, returning to tell him about her adventures, either verbally or with photos/videos. Hotwifing differs from cuckolding as there is no degradation or humiliation to the husband. It is almost completely opposite, as Hotwifing can be thought of the joy of “showing off” one’s wife.
• Hotel Takeover – A Lifestyle event held in a hotel when all of the rooms (either in the entire hotel or specific floors) and facilities have been rented by the Lifestyle event planners to host a swingers party/event.

  • Takeovers are often weekend events (check in Friday, check out Sunday)

  • Most hotel takeovers offer public hospitality suites, playrooms, and specialized areas for play, such as dungeons, Sybian rooms, etc.

• House Party – A Lifestyle event held in a private home. Usually, these are smaller events attended by those known or selected by the hosts.
• HWP – “Height, weight proportionate.” Usually found in swinger online dating profiles, this is a simple way of describing those who are relatively within the normal weight range for their height.
• Kink (Kinky) – Sexual preferences that fall outside of those things that are generally considered common and ordinary. The use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts, or fantasies.
• Lifestyle aka The Lifestyle or LS – The term used for swinging and the swinging community. In the swinging community, you will more often hear people refer to themselves as “in the Lifestyle” instead of a “swinger.”
• MFM – A sexual threesome that includes 2 males and 1 female. In some cases, this acronym indicates that the men will not play with one another (as opposed to an MMF), but that use is not universal.
• Newbie – A reasonably affectionate term that refers to one who is new to swinging, the Lifestyle, or any aspect of it.
• Off-Premise – A swinger/Lifestyle club, venue, or event that does not allow sexual activities on site.
• On-Premise – A swinger/Lifestyle club, venue, or event that has playrooms or some other accommodation which allows for sex on site.
• Open Relationship – Any type of romantic relationship (dating, marriage, etc.) where one or more parties have permission to be romantically or sexually involved with people outside of the relationship.

  • The terms open relationship and swinging can not be used interchangeably. While swinging is a type of open relationship, most swingers are emotionally monogamous and sexually non-monogmous so do not consider their relationships completely open.

• Parallel Play (see also Same Room) – Two (or more) couples, having sex with their own partners in the same bed or same room with no swapping.
• Play – Sexual intercourse in the Lifestyle. This does not always include penetrative intercourse.
• Play Room – A room or area designated for sexual activity at swingers clubs, resorts, hotel takeovers, house parties, and other Lifestyle venues.
• Polyamory (or Poly)– The practice of engaging in multiple romantic, intimate, emotional (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.

  • Swinging and Polyamory are completely different, as swinging on its own does not involve any romantic feelings with play partners

  • While some swingers may be poly and some poly people may swing, the terms are not interchangeable.

• Profile – A personal page on a Lifestyle dating website or app where couples and individuals describe themselves and their sexual preferences and list the kinds of partners and activities they are looking for. Profiles are normally accompanied by pictures and a means of contact.
• Reconnection Sex – Sex with your partner after a Lifestyle encounter with others. Sometimes it occurs immediately after you are out of the presence of the others and sometimes it is delayed until the next day or so.

  • This is sometimes referred to as reclamation sex, in that you are “reclaiming” your partner as your own. However, since this term might be understood as ownership, in some sense, of your partner, most swingers prefer the term “reconnection sex.”

• Safe Word – A word which means to stop all play immediately. This word is chosen before play begins and is clearly communicated to all participants.

  • This term is more used in the BDSM community, but also has some use within the Lifestyle community.

• Same Room – All sexual activity will happen in the presence of their partner and two of them will be together at all times (i.e. in the same room)

  • This is one of the more common rules of play established by many couples (i.e. same room only)

• Separate Play (or Separate Rooms) – Sexual activity without the presence of their partner. Separate room play is when both partners are engaged in sex with other people, but not in the same room.
• Situational – “Under the right circumstances” – An individual or couple will use this word to indicate some activity they might do, in a given situation, but are not willing to commit to doing it in all situations. Probably an unnecessary swinger term, since all play is inherently situational, but is commonly used.
• Soft Swap – Sexual intercourse with (at least) two couples where the couples will swap partners and participate in oral sex with someone other than their partner

  • Soft swap couples do not participate in penetrative intercourse with anyone other than their own partner.

• Stag (see also Vixen) – The term for the husband during Hotwifing/Hotwife play.

  • Bull would be the term for the other male participating in the Hotwifing activities.

• Submissive – (opposite of dominant) The person who has a more obedient role in a relationship, giving power and control to another participant (the dominant).

  • During sex, it is the person who likes to be taken control of and likes being told what to do.

  • This term is more often used in the BDSM community but can play a part in swinging as well.

• Swinger – A person (typically a couple) who practices consensual non-monogamy by engaging in the swapping of sexual partners and/or group sex.

  • Swingers are typically couples but can also be individuals (see Unicorn and Bull)

• Swinging – The act of a type of consensual non-monogamy where a person engages in sexual activity with people, other than their partner, in the presence of, or with the permission of their partner.
• Takeover – A large Lifestyle event where the event space and facilities have been rented by the Lifestyle event planners to host a swingers party/event.

  • Takeovers are often weekend events (Friday-Sunday)

  • Takeovers can be at hotels, resorts, cruise ships, clubs, and more.

• Taking one for the team – Engaging in sexual activity with someone that you are not attracted to, simply because your partner is eager to play with that person’s partner.

  • This is typically deemed disrespectful and is not a recommended practice to do in the Lifestyle.

• Travel – (the opposite of entertain) A couple who is “willing to travel” will most likely not host, and is open to driving or traveling some distance for play opportunities.
• Unicorn – A single female who participates in the Lifestyle.

• • They often will join a couple and play together with them in a threesome or play with a member of the swinging couple separately, all depending on everyone’s rules/boundaries, or may be asked to be part of other forms of group play.

  • They have the name unicorn as they seem mythical – majestic and hard to find.

• Upside Down Pineapple – The universal symbol used for swingers and swinging. In modern times, it acts as a mascot or logo for the swinging Lifestyle.

  • It is widely assumed by the general public that swingers find other swingers by putting a pineapple in their shopping cart upside down or putting an upside down pineapple on your porch like a jack-o-lantern, indicating you are looking for other swingers or that you are welcoming swingers into your home for sex.

  • While that may have been true in the past, in modern times, it is not how swingers find each other any more, but historically, that is where the upside down pineapple relation came from.

  • Swingers have now adopted that and often collect and wear many things with pineapples on them to proudly but also somewhat secretly show their swinger pride! It’s similar to wearing or having items including a favorite sports team logo – to signal to other like-minded people that you have something in common!

• Vanilla – Non-swingers or not swinging or kink related. Can refer to people, events or activities. It is not used as an insult.
• Vixen (see also Stag) – The term for the wife during Hotwifing/Hotwife play.
• Voyeurism (or Voyeur. see also Exhibitionism) – A sexual kink in which the person feels sexual arousal and pleasure at the idea or reality of watching others engage in sexual activity. The swinger term does NOT refer to “peeping” on unsuspecting people.

(Thank you to this Reddit post for a great outline for most of these terms!)